Just Marriage
by Andrew Kim
Foreword by Donald Wallenfang
Imprint: Cascade Books
It is not difficult nowadays to find books decrying divorce and defending the Christian doctrine that marriage is a permanent union. Such a teaching by its very nature raises the problem of how to respond when marriages become destructive. The response generally given by church officials is that if grave danger is present, spouses may separate. Some denominations even allow for divorce and remarriage. This response, however, is not particularly helpful for spouses not in grave danger but nonetheless in destructive marriages, nor does it tell us anything about how to avoid destructive marriages in the first place. This book argues that just conflict in marriage can both prevent marriages from becoming destructive and be a path toward reconciliation for those who find themselves already ensconced within a destructive marriage. The criteria for just conflict are adopted and translated from the just war tradition. Though conflict in war and in marriage is quite distinct, in both domains conflict is just if ordered to unity and reconciliation and unjust when it devolves into mere antagonism, whether cold or hot. Just conflict, then, is a path of reconciliation for Christian spouses whose faith rests in the Christ who makes all things new.
Andrew Kim is associate professor of theological ethics at Marquette University, where he also directs the Center for the Advancement of the Humanities. He is the author of An Introduction to Catholic Ethics Since Vatican II (2015) and coauthor of Just War Theory and Literary Studies: An Invitation to Dialogue (2021). His essays have appeared in Studies in Christian Ethics, The Journal of Moral Theology, New Blackfriars, The Journal of Peace and Justice Studies, Ecclesiology, and other venues.
“Andrew Kim has given us a book that is philosophically incisive and imminently practical. Just Marriage unmasks an indelible feature of all marriages: conflict. Challenging conventional wisdom and resisting simplistic frameworks, Kim offers an array of insights to help couples make their conflict an engine of deepening communion rather than destruction.”
—Abigail Favale, author The Genesis of Gender
“Andrew Kim has written an unexpected and intensely practical book. Taking just war theory for what it is—a set of guidelines with the goal of peace—Kim offers it as a tool for navigating the conflict that marriage inevitably involves. Wise and realistic, this book will offer on-the-ground help to real couples in real marriages.”
—Holly Taylor Coolman, assistant professor of theology, Providence College
“How is it that no one has thought previously to write a theology of marriage from this perspective? In this delightful and groundbreaking book, Andrew Kim calls upon Christians to learn the arts of marital peacemaking. The grace of the sacrament is present to strengthen husband and wife, but only if the spouses recognize their shared sinfulness. To foster this, Kim proposes the analogy of the rules of just war—and he brilliantly demonstrates their value.”
—Matthew Levering, chair of theology, Mundelein Seminary
“Andrew Kim accomplishes three amazing points here. First, he takes seriously, in ways that Christians often fail to do, the reality that conflicts can be very destructive to marriages. Second, he takes seriously that lifelong vows are integral to Christian marriage. Third, he rejects the idea that one must remain in destructive marriages in order to embrace lifelong fidelity. With great care and compassion, Kim explores just war theory as a way toward marital reconciliation.”
—Jana M. Bennett, professor of moral theology, University of Dayton
“The real genius of Just Marriage is its uncanny pairing of just war theory and conflict resolution in marriage, taking aim at the transfigurative target of all genuinely charitable conflict: reconciliation. Andrew Kim’s book makes an evocative and lasting contribution to the Catholic theology of marriage, showcasing those inescapable fissures that have the potential to become fault lines of division or channels of redeeming grace.”
—Donald Wallenfang, OCDS, professor of theology and philosophy, Sacred Heart Major Seminary
“In applying the concepts from just war theory to conflict in marriage, Just Marriage embarks on a creative redeployment of a venerable theoretical system in moral theology. May Andrew Kim’s willingness to repurpose Catholic thinking for new applications inspire others to follow suit.”
—Kathleen Cavender-McCoy, professor of moral theology, Providence College