Deadly Real
Mourning and Accompaniment after Suicide
Foreword by Jörg Frey
Imprint: Cascade Books
What happens after a suicide?
Ten years after the suicide of a close friend, Sabrina Muller writes about her personal mourning process in short blogs and in-depth analyses. She tells of her numbness after the bad news, of the unbearable moments, of her phases of grief. She tells of rage, her own life tiredness, disappointment, and loneliness. Where were friends, community, even the church, when she herself urgently needed support?
Muller speaks openly about the very difficult issues but also about what got her through this difficult time and how she slowly found her way back into a changed life. She profitably combines expert knowledge with personalities and breaks the taboo of talking about suicide. This book is a signpost and helpful orientation--for survivors and for people in helping professions.
Sabrina Müller is the Theological Executive Director at the Center for Church Development at the University of Zurich. She is the author of Fresh Expressions of Church (2016).
“In this intimate and evocative memoir, Sabrina Müller explores through the lens of faith and community the impact of her closest friend’s suicide on those she left behind. Deadly Real is a revealing, authentic, moving personal memoir of faith and love amidst loss and grief. Throughout this book, Müller expertly balances academic and theoretical literature on suicide with critical reflection and lived experience to produce the kind of practical theological narrative that responds to both caregivers as well as the friends and relatives of those who have lost loved ones to suicide. Tender and inspiring, this book is a gift for all those concerned about the realities of suicide.”
—Sheryl A. Kujawa-Holbrook, Claremont School of Theology
“This book is a must-read for anyone who has lost someone to suicide. Müller’s vivid account of her own journey through complex grief, and what has pulled her to the other side, will be a lifeline to countless people plodding a similar path. As a practical theologian, she expertly works with her narrative to draw out profound insights for pastoral practice.”
—Sarah Dunlop, University of Cambridge
“This incredibly heartfelt and helpful book will draw you in immediately. Sabrina Müller, a wise and compassionate theologian, offers an immense gift, breaking the silence and taboos around her close friend’s suicide and around suicide in general despite its prevalence. In taking us through the guilt, blame, outrage, bitterness, accusations, abandonment, despondency, doubt, and achingly reconstructed faith, Müller shows those left behind and caregivers alike a way forward amidst the pain.”
—Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore, Vanderbilt University