A Brain Tumor Changes Everything
Searching for the Shape of Mercy in a Suffering Season: A Mother’s Memoir
by Jan Woltmann
Imprint: Resource Publications
What would you do if an inoperable tumor occupied the brainstem of your young adult son? What would your next steps be? How would you begin to pray?
In 2011, Jan Woltmann's twenty-one-year-old son, Nate, was diagnosed with brain cancer: the cancer was lethal, the situation tragic, and hope gone.
Medical science did everything possible through aggressive radiation and the strongest chemotherapy to delay the tumor's advance, even as Jan and her husband slipped deeper into darkness and grief. The couple did all the things parents do in the wake of heartbreak: they wept, ached, prayed, and planned for the worst loss imaginable.
This is a story about suffering that sets a place for you at the kitchen table, around the Christmas tree, and inside the waiting rooms at CancerCare. This is a story for old souls--those for whom life has ripened, either suddenly or over time, and who find themselves in search of life's mystery and meaning in the midst of sorrow.
Following a compelling medical narrative, and textured by contemplative Christian thinkers, A Brain Tumor Changes Everything speaks the language of grief, seeks the presence of mercy, and finds the surprise of God.
Jan Woltmann is a practitioner of spiritual direction in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She holds a Master of Arts degree from Providence Theological Seminary and a Bachelor of Education from the University of Winnipeg. Jan is married to Norm, and they have three married children and a lively bunch of grandchildren. Her greatest love is family, and she delights in their company, either around a bustling dinner table, or at the family cabin on the shores of Lake Winnipeg.
“A brilliantly insightful, tender, and genuinely beautiful memoir. Jan is an extraordinary writer, drawing the reader into the suffering of a mother’s love, living through the experience of the ‘dark night,’ yet giving us glimpses of joy. She weaves theology, spiritual direction, prayer, and faith through the mystery of God’s presence. This world needs more anam cara (spiritual directors) like Jan Woltman. I could not put this book down!”
—Catherine McMulkin, executive director, Canadian Fellowship of Christian Spiritual Directors
“Well written, searching, and vulnerable, Jan Woltmann invites the reader to accompany her family as they navigate the sustained crisis of her son’s life-threatening cancer. Drawing on the wisdom of a wide array of theologians, writers, and friends . . . she offers a story marked by pain, filled with a longing for hope, and ultimately characterized by a sense of deep wonder.”
—Jamie Howison, author of God’s Mind in That Music and A Kind of Solitude
“Beautifully written, insightful, and deeply edifying, Woltmann has gifted us with an extraordinary memoir detailing the shape of divine mercy in the midst of great anguish and suffering. Christians everywhere will benefit from her wisdom, candor, and appreciation of the undomesticated love of God. A great testimony to the church catholic!”
—Christopher Holmes, University of Otago
“A memoir of suffering that is honest about pain and fear. Jan Woltmann recounts her family’s journey attentive to its moments of humor, blessings of simple pleasures, and surprising grace-gifts of faith. This mother’s story is offered for any who have walked a similar road—or been companions along the way.”
—Lissa M. Wray Beal, Providence University College and Theological Seminary