Cops, Cons, and Grace

“Cops, Cons, and Grace is a moving, inspirational journey into grief, despair, and ultimate reconciliation prompted by the author’s loss of a police officer son to suicide. Written with tears and tenderness, Brian Cahill explores his own loss and the ongoing, national crisis of suicide in law enforcement. . . . Cahill came to craft a masterpiece of writing, a touching and insightful piece of literature that should be read by police officers, their families, those in the helping profession—and anyone touched by the tragedy of suicide.”


—Andy O’Hara, Founder, Badge of Life





“Brian Cahill’s story of his son’s death provides us all with something more than science; it opens the door to the why’s of suicide among police officers. I hope that all who read this touching book will walk away with a better understanding of these men and women who serve and protect us from harm. More importantly, I hope that all will better acknowledge the psychological danger of being a cop. Sometimes that danger is more than what happens on the street.”


—John M. Violanti, Author of Police Suicide: Epidemic in Blue





“Heartbreaking, courageous, and generous. A deeply spiritual man, Brian Cahill turns a father’s love and grief over the suicide of his police officer son into a gift. If you know a cop, a convict, or the pain of loss, Cahill’s memoir will give you hope.”


—Ellen Kirschman, Author of I Love a Cop





“Authentic, evocative, and transformative, this journey of healing and hope captures the heart of any reader who has been a parent, a counselor, a peace officer or any combination of these.”


—Eve Myer, Executive Director, San Francisco Suicide Prevention





“A riveting story of God’s grace and healing in the face of the most profound loss and grief.  Brian Cahill’s compassionate work with both prisoners and law-enforcement officers, after the suicide of his son, is a compelling testimony of faith, hope and love.”


—James Martin, Author of Jesus a Pilgrimage





“An inviting, palpable, powerhouse of a book, Cops, Cons and Grace takes us on a story we will never forget. From a father’s deep, unconditional love of his son, John Francis Cahill, to the darkest depths of pain and despair after he loses his police officer son. This book will show you desperate hurt from such a loss, but more important, it brings us closer to the minds of officers to whom Brian gives the gift of hope every day. Brian Cahill is my new hero. This book will widen your lens, while opening your heart to healing, recovery, growth and grace from the abyss that is suicide.”


—Kevin Hines, Author of Cracked Not Broken, Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt





“Cops, Cons and Grace is about two very different cultures and how these cultures offered peace and resolution after a suicide. It is a moving story about how the police and prison inmate cultures lead one man to forgive himself for his child's suicide. Ultimately the book is about the love a parent has for a child and what happens when that child commits suicide. It is moving, uplifting and informative. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in the psychology of suicide survivors, anyone struggling with a suicide or someone simply interested in a moving story about love and forgiveness.”


—Joel Fay, Co-author of Counseling Cops, What Clinicians Need To Know





“Brian Cahill found healing and strength in an unexpected place—with convicts at San Quentin state prison—after the suicide of his son, a 42-year-old police officer, plunged him into unimaginable grief. This gripping, personal and inspiring journey reveals the power of grace over death as the author channels his heartbreak into loving action, honoring his son’s life by teaching suicide awareness and prevention to police officers. This is a timely and important book given the high risk of suicide among law-enforcement and correctional officers today, but will appeal to anyone who has wondered how to find hope amidst despair.”


—George Williams, Catholic Chaplain, San Quentin State Prison





“Brian Cahill shares with the reader his experience living through the tragic loss of his firstborn son John, a police officer as a victim of police suicide. As a police psychologist, I personally found Mr. Cahill’s work particularly on point to assist the law enforcement profession by bringing light to the tragic loss of life of fine young men and women who risk their life not only to violent crime, but to broken spirits. Psychologists, chaplains and administrators who work in the area of helping first responders need to read this book.”


—Kevin M Gilmartin, Author of Emotional Support for Law Enforcement





“Cops, Cons and Grace is a wise and beautiful book about sorrow, grace and redemption. It will offer comfort to anyone who’s grieving, hope to anyone in a dark place on their journey, and insight and instruction to anyone working in the area of suicide prevention with police officers.”


—Mary Allen, Author of Rooms of Heaven





“Brian Cahill shares his journey before and after his son’s suicide. It is an emotional roller coaster which probes into how his son, a police officer, tried to deal with stress and depression. As a retired cop who lost a colleague to suicide, this is an extremely important read.”


—Anthony Ribera, Director, International Institute of Criminal Justice Leadership, University of San Francisco





“Brian Cahill has written a very personal story full of raw emotion and intense depth. Following the suicide of his police officer son, Cahill embarks on a passionate journey looking for reassurance of God’s presence and trying to make sense of life and death. Written by (in Cahill’s own words) ‘a father who’s immobilized by horror and pain’, he nonetheless finds comfort, support and answers in some usual, and unusual places. Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide will be helped by this story. This is a book full of grace.” 


—Ron Rolheiser, Author, Columnist and President of Oblate School of Theology